Babycakes: 13 Months!

Health: 
We've finally got a tooth! It only took girlfriend 13 months, but we've finally got a top tooth to speak of :) I can see the other top tooth working its way out, and the bottom two seem to be trying their best as well. Teething wasn't nearly as bad as expected (of course, that's my side of the story, not Lizzie's). We had some really icky diapers and a bit of a fever, but other than that, girlfriend wasn't too fussy. Then again, I do recall taking her in to Urgent Care one night in the midst of teething due to a fever over 102 and nasty diapers... we'll chalk that up to first-time parenting :) We weren't sure if it was just teeth or something more! And in our defense, the doctor for UC was pretty concerned about her as well (thinking a kidney infection? Oh no!) Oh well, live and learn. Aside from that, we've been totally healthy :)

Sleep:
We had been doing really well in the sleep arena -- still waking up once a night, but taking nice, long naps (usually an hour in the morning and two hours in the afternoon). However, since I've been off for the summer (whee!), I think babycakes assumes she should be up and partying with me all the time. I'm lucky to get a half-hour nap out of her -- sometimes twice a day, but sometimes just once! Don't get me wrong, this momma loves her baby, but I do need a little time to eat lunch without a toddler (since when did I become the momma of a toddler!?) climbing in my lap, trying to get a few bites of my well-deserved lunch. Anyway, I'm not sure what to do about it. I've been anti-CIO, but in the past, I've noticed if I give her a couple minutes when she wakes up prematurely from a nap, she'll go back to sleep -- so I've been letting her cry a little to see if that will work these days.

Nope.


Girlfriend can (and does) completely outlast me in that arena. She'll cry and scream (er, repeat "mama" over and over again... be still, my breaking heart!) and throw her pacifier (and books and stuffed animals and cars that I've strategically placed to make her crib less sad when she wakes up from naps) overboard for an hour and still be going strong. It's at that point that I give up and give in, and find myself opening the door of my poor, sweet baby, whose arms are outstretched and is babbling, "mamamamamama" over and over again. She'll then snuggle in and hold tight to me like a baby koala for at least 20 minutes from the traumatic situation she's just been rescued from.

Sigh. What's a momma to do? Am I bailing her out too soon? Should I let her go longer than an hour? I figure she's not going to give up, so that's why I do. Am I being naive? Any help is appreciated :)

As far as nighttime goes, she's doing just fine there. We had a few rough nights where she wouldn't go to sleep for us at night and I was rocking her for a couple hours before putting her down, but we seem to have remedied that issue by putting her down anyway, sitting by her crib and rubbing her back. It takes ten minutes or so, but she does calm down enough to sleep. Overnight, she's doing well -- usually just needs a pacifier and a back rub/butt pat for a few minutes before we go back to bed.

Diet:
Lizzie is still an incredible eater. I was concerned around one year that she was losing interest in her veggies, but she's proving loud and clear that's not the case! There are some nights when she'll decline some of them, but for most meals, she has no problems eating whatever it is I put in front of her.

I've noticed a decline in how much she's been eating at mealtimes, which isn't too much of a surprise to me, as I'd read this typically happens about now. She is extremely interested in snacks, of course :) She knows right where we keep her snacks and is also increasingly interested in the refrigerator. Naturally, whenever I pull out her milk or water sippy from the refrigerator, it is exactly what she doesn't want -- she'd rather peruse the options a bit and make a choice for herself ;)

We're doing whole grain waffles with peanut butter and some fruit and milk for breakfast these days -- she loves it! Depending on when she wakes and eats breakfast, we may or may not have a morning snack. For lunch, I'll give her something I've saved from supper the night before, or we'll do whole wheat English muffin "pizza". Earlier in the summer, I picked up some organic hot dogs for her for times when we grill brats for ourselves. I wanted to avoid the extra chemicals and nitrates for her, so these were a good choice for that. Sometimes I'll grill her a hot dog and give her half of it (cut up nice and small, of course!) for lunch, too.

Favorites this month include... sweet potatoes, avocado, green beans, raspberries, blackberries, apples (I let her gnaw on the core after I finish it... feels good on her teething gums and she loves the flavor! She gets mad when I decide it's time to take it away :)), bananas (given very sparingly...) and Plum Organics Mighty 4 Cereal Bars -- girlfriend seriously can't get enough of them.

She's been having tastes of ice cream here and there, and, well, you can just about guess what her favorite favorite food of all time is :)

Social:
Now that school's out for summer (whee! Did I mention that yet?), Lizzie hasn't been getting as much "kid" interaction as she normally does. Regardless, she's been having a great time seeing her cousins lately (she adores them!) and I've taken her to the Y's "drop-in" care while I teach my yoga/pilates classes. The drop-in daycare is an awesome service for people who go to the Y here, but girlfriend is still warming up to it. Poor baby cried for half of the class I taught on Friday :(

Milestones:
First tooth broke through this month! We're also taking steps on our own (we've seen her take five by herself!), but girlfriend is definitely a cautious little babe. She wants to make sure she can do it just right before she commits to something -- she was the same way about crawling! I'm guessing it won't be long before we have a walker on our hands.

She's saying "uh-oh", "mama", "dada" and "ball" and will woof for a puppy sound and make a sound for a car/truck/tractor as well. She's babbling non-stop! It is so much fun to her her voice. She's also learned to communicate that she's "all done" using a sign that's similar to the one used in sign language, and she will also shake her head "no" for things. Pretty cute :)

Fifty Two Weeks!

(Note: this post was written almost two weeks ago, on May 20th... excuse the lateness on posting it to the blog!)

Weight: I'm still guessing 20 pounds, but we'll get the for-sure stats at her 12-month check-up today.

Sleep: Sleep continues to be pretty good. Some nights she's straight through, other nights she's up once.

Medical Issues: Feeling good :) Still wondering about teeth -- not for any reason in particular, other than being a little more fussy/"clingy" than usual and feeling a few bumps on the lower gum line. At this point, we are still toothless!

Clothes: Wearing six to 12 month clothes and three-to-six month jammies, but those are slowly starting to get too short for her. 

Socialite!: Just been hanging out with friends at daycare lately! Which will be soon to change, as the school year is almost finished -- then it'll be Mom + Lizzie days every day :)

Diet: Since our Kraft Singles experience last week, I've asked that Lizzie just stick to milk, Cheerios and lunches I send from home while at daycare. At home, however, we're completely off the bottle (aside from just before bedtime) and are having snacks with milk in a sippy in-between meals. Our snacks typically consist of fruit (share with Momma :)) or some whole wheat, no sugar banana bread I made. For breakfast, girlfriend is having whole wheat waffles with a little peanut butter, fruit and whole milk. It's safe to say, she's loving the world of FOOD :) 

Baby Gear Love: Our baby swing -- not the indoor kind any longer, but the big girl kind that hangs from our swing set! Girlfriend got one for her birthday from her Grandma and Grandpa, and we've been loving it with this gorgeous weather that has (finally!) come our way. 

Crying: Lizzie is such a happy babe. She only cries when she's hungry or tired.

Mommy News: Each day pushes us a little closer to the days when my girl and I get to spend full days at home together all summer! :) We are both pretty excited to sleep in (hopefully) and go on walks and just hang out all summer long!

Milestones:  Standing on our own more and more each day. Girlfriend's babbling is really increasing that is sounding like a made-up language these days :) It's adorable.

Lizzie can also tell you the sound a car, lion and puppy make on command… most of the time. Depends on whether or not she feels like performing ;)

Fifty One Weeks!

(Picture to come later... we had professional pictures taken on her 51st week day, so I'll be posting one once we get the rights to one :))


Weight: We did the old trick where we step on the scale with her, step off, then back on without her, and it seems our girl is a whopping 20 pounds! What!? That would mean she's gained three pounds in the last month and a half. We'll see if it's true when we get the official states at her 12-month appointment, scheduled for next Thursday.  

Sleep: Sleep continues to be pretty good. Some nights she's straight through, other nights she's up once.

Medical Issues: Feeling good :) Wondering if we're getting some teeth because of a drooly mouth (from a typically non-drooly baby) and some interesting diapers.

Clothes: Wearing six to 12 month clothes and three-to-six month jammies, but those are slowly starting to get too short for her. 

Socialite!: We had a big birthday bash on Mother's Day for Lizzie, so she got to hang out with 24 pretty awesome people! She's in love with her cousins, especially Mykenna. She definitely gave Mykenna a hug on her birthday party day, unprompted :) It was adorable.

Diet: I bought girlfriend some whole milk, so she's now having that with meals. We're still using formula until it's used up for breakfast and snacks (for the most part). Honestly, I'm a crazy nutrition foodie mom and I kind of worry about her eating what they offer at daycare. I'm not into crackers (crazy mom, yes. But where's the nutritional value?), and the other day they gave her a slice of Kraft Singles and I just about went through the roof with worry (preservatives? Artificial flavoring? Coloring? Aaaaah!!!). Whatever. It's something I need to get over maybe.

Food rant over. Well, blog-wise… but not in my head.

Any suggestions/words of wisdom on this subject?

Anyway, like I said, girlfriend got her first-ever taste of birthday cake over the weekend and she was in LOVE. It was hilarious :) She continues to love everything we put on her tray. This week, we had some whole-wheat pasta with a white sauce and diced tomatoes in it, and she ate both the tomatoes and the pasta (which seems to be her only food aversion)… woohoo! And even I ate the tomatoes, so it was a big night all-around in our house ;) Lizzie continues to be a far better eater than I!

Baby Gear Love: Books. Over and over, the same ones, six times over. I love it! I've got a few of her favorites memorized and have even recited a few to my third graders :) It's so fun how much she loves to read. At night before bedtime, we read and read and read, and when it's time to put the books away, girlfriend gets the saddest, puppy dog look and cries a few tears. So sweet.

Crying: Lizzie is such a happy babe. She only cries when she's hungry or tired.

Mommy News: Finally, a week when I don't have to mention any sad news! Everything is looking great, my uterus is back to a healthy state, and all is well. Praise God!

Loved Lizzie's birthday party over the weekend, though I'm glad it will only happen once a year :) I loved the prep in the weeks leading up to her party, but the night before was pretty intense as we finally put everything up and together. But it was wonderful! We are so lucky to have such wonderful family so close :)

I only have a few weeks left of school at this point, and can't wait to spend my days with my girl!

I truly can't believe she's a year old already! Though it seems it's gone so fast and she just got here, it's also strange because I feel like she's been here forever. She is my little miracle, and sometimes I still can't believe she's ours. Every single struggle, every heartbreak, every up-and-down, every tear, was completely worth this beautiful sweet baby who calls me "mama".

Milestones:  Lizzie had her first birthday party on Sunday and turned ONE on Monday, May 12th! Can't believe we are Mommy and Daddy to a one-year-old!

Lizzie shared her second Mother's Day with Mommy ;) Though not as exciting, still just as memorable since we had her birthday party on that day :)

We're babbling more and more all the time, with new sounds and new intonations. Love it!

She's starting to say "uh-oh" and "uh" for "up". I swear she's saying "mamama" for milk these days as well. Whenever she sees or hears a puppy (or the word "puppy"), she does a little "wuh wuh wuh".

Starting to be more confident in our standing skills these days, too! She's been testing the waters on standing alone from time to time :)

Fifty Weeks!

Weight: I'm guessing around 18 pounds. 

Sleep: Sleep is really good lately, usually giving us full, through-the-night, sleeps.

Medical Issues: Feeling good :)

Clothes: Wearing six to 12 month clothes (still a little big!) and three-to-six month jammies. 

Socialite!: Just hanging out with our daycare friends lately :)

Diet: Girlfriend is crazy for milk… as in, regular milk. No, it's not replacing formula -- though it will (in whole-milk form)  as of Monday the 12th (her first birthday!). She drinks it out of her mason jar mug with a straw that she got for Easter in her basket. It is toooooo cute!

We also LOVE raspberries! Can't get enough. I've noticed lately that she seems to like her fruits the most, veggies in second place, and typically the "main course" in third place. She typically cleans her tray, so it doesn't really matter -- but she does seem to eat things in that order. She now requests all of her food on her tray at one time -- I used to hold the fruit back until everything else was finished because she wouldn't eat anything else otherwise. Now, however, she'll definitely eat her fruit first (and then point at the fruit on our plates later in order to "request" more, after hers is all gone… :)), but she'll finish eating everything else afterward. Here's to hoping this "clean plate club" and the love of veggies and all thing flavorful continues into toddlerhood! (Seriously? Did I just say "toddlerhood"? I can't believe my girl is so big!)

Baby Gear Love: We just got a bike trailer for Lizzie to sit in, and unfortunately, the weather hasn't been too great for it at this point; however, the two times she has gotten a little ride in it, she's loved it. She waves and is all smiles while she rides in it :)

Crying: Lizzie is such a happy babe. She only cries when she's hungry or tired.

Mommy News: Unfortunately, my miscarriage nightmare didn't end last week with my D & C. Instead, it seems not everything was "gotten" with that surgery -- so I had to go back and have a hysteroscopy and D & C performed again this week. What. A. Nightmare. But, praise God, all went well and everything is fine now. I'm so ready to put the past few weeks behind me.

From this point on, just looking forward! Just a few weeks left of school and girlfriend's birthday bash this weekend :) Can't believe she'll be one year old in less than a week! (Yes, this is her 50-week post… yes, I am a week behind :))

Milestones: Lizzie can walk behind a walker, one-handed these days :) She's got that "look" in her eye, that she wants to let go of things and just try taking some steps, but it's almost like she thinks better of it before she actually does it. 

I swear she's saying, "woof, woof" at times when she sees dogs. She's saying "raaar" more and more, too :)

Last night, she did say "uh-oh!" It was adorable (I think every parent thinks most anything their child does is adorable at this age)!

Her sense of humor is really coming out -- girlfriend will offer us different objects, and just before we take them from her, she'll pull them away and laugh hysterically :) I just love it!

She's doing this funny thing now, too, where she'll throw her head back and laugh uncontrollably at the tiniest thing. Just about everything is funny to this girl!

Forty Nine Weeks!

Weight: I'm guessing around 18 pounds.

Sleep: Sleep is really good lately, usually giving us full, through-the-night, sleeps.

Medical Issues: Feeling good :)

Clothes: Starting to put away most of Lizzie's three to six month clothing and taking out all of the nine month/six to 12 month clothing.  She's still wearing her three to six month jammies, though :)

Socialite!: Lizzie got to spend some time with more cousins over the weekend! Rachel and Michael, who happens to be just a few weeks younger than Lizzie, came to visit. Lizzie and Michael don't do a lot of interacting together, but they do a lot of "parallel play" (tapping into my CDFS degree for that term ;)).

Diet: I continue to be amazed at our fabulous eater! We had fajitas earlier in the week, and girlfriend gobbled up everything -- including the red and yellow peppers and the onions! It was awesome.

In terms of milk, Lizzie has been a tank lately -- eating eight ounce bottles at night before bed and also first thing in the morning. Typically, she's a four-ounce per feeding baby. Growth spurt maybe?

She's also been increasingly interested in drinking the same milk I am lately. She seems to like it, which is good since we'll be transitioning to cow's milk in just a couple of weeks. We've been working on drinking out of a straw for a few weeks now, and girlfriend has finally seemed to grasp that concept :) 

Baby Gear Love: Still loving "pets" that she can hold in her hand -- that little "baby" rubber duck, her little stuffed octopus and little stuffed giraffe. 

Still loving books. She cries when we put them back on the shelf at bedtime!

Crying: Lizzie is such a happy babe. She only cries when she's hungry or tired.

Mommy News: Not much on the Mommy front after the "excitement" (not fun excitement, but excitement nonetheless). I did end up needing a D & C this week after my pregnancy,  but I feel fine and everything went "well" (as well as things can go when you have to go through the whole, miscarrying, thing). So at this point, just planning that first birthday party and appreciating every second with my little  miracle.

Milestones: Learned to drink out of a straw!

Given up on army crawling almost completely :)

Starting to stand on our own!

Cruising around EVERYTHING like it's her job! She's ready to get anywhere, whether it's by crawling or walking along the couch, ottoman, cabinets… :)

Forty Eight Weeks!

Weight: I'm guessing between 17 and 18 pounds.

Sleep: Sleep is pretty good. Waking up once a night lately due to an icky, croupy cough.

Medical Issues: Feeling good, aside from that croupy-sounding cough!

Clothes: Lizzie still fits nicely into her three to six month clothes, but I got bored with the same outfits all the time… I felt like I'd mixed and matched and mixed again all of her things, and I just couldn't take it anymore! So instead of buying more three to six month stuff,  I opted to start testing the waters with some of her 6 to 12 month stuff. Though they are a little bit, they fit well enough :) So she gets to wear all kinds of fun new stuff. Some of it is still too big to wear, but that's okay. Just more things to look forward to putting her in :)

For jammies, we're still sporting our three to six month sizes.

Socialite!: Lizzie got an extra day with Mommy last week on Good Friday since there was no school :) We spent a lot of time with Lizzie's cousins and with other family over the Easter weekend. Lizzie loves "big kids". She waves her arms and pumps her legs whenever they come around, and she's always wanting to be where the action is :) And they are so sweet to her, sharing toys and wanting to help me take care of her. She's a lucky girl! 

Diet: Lizzie seems to be turning into her mommy in a few food ways: first, she love love loves fruit! Second, she seems to have developed a distaste for sauces on her pasta. At one time, girlfriend would inhale pasta with red sauce and meat -- now, however, it's a different story. We can hardly get her to put it in her mouth, and once it does, it usually ends up coming out. However, she will eat some of it if it comes from one of our plates. So I'm trying a new strategy where I put her food on my plate and then give it to her. It seems to work 85% of the time :)

I've avoided peas for quite some time because they're small and can be messy, due to the fact that they roll everywhere if dropped on the floor. That hiatus is definitely done: earlier in the week, I made her enough peas for supper and for her lunch for daycare the next day. She grabbed the peas by the handful and dumped them into her mouth… loved them! She could pick them up one by one, but it seems she figured out that that was just too slow of a delivery :) Anyway, not only did she eat her peas for that night's supper, but she also ate all of her peas for her lunch the next day! They were like candy to her. It was awesome!

Baby Gear Love: Still loving books. She also loves her new flashcards that she got in her Easter basket. They are pretty awesome, and I'm not just saying that from a teacher standpoint :) They're touch and feel, which is perfect for her right now. She loves to look at them... and chew on them, too.

She also loves little "animals" that she can hold in her hand. At home, you'll find her consistently with two of the following (one in each hand) -- a little "baby" rubber duck, a little stuffed octopus or a little stuffed giraffe. She needs them -- all. The. Time!

We're also loving this Melissa and Doug Chunky Jungle Puzzle that we got in our Easter basket from Grandma Kathy and Grandpa Wayne. Lizzie takes the animals off, bangs them together, and (I swear this happens) roars when we look at the lion. It is hilarious and so darn cute. We weren't sure if we were hearing her correctly the first few times (skeptics), but she does it consistently, so it must be what she's doing! I always "raaar" when I point to the lion, so it does make sense.

Crying: Lizzie is such a happy babe. She only cries when she's hungry or tired.

Mommy News: First and foremost, I want to say that I was truly touched by the kind words and support I received after last week's sad news. Thank you to all who offered encouragement, and those who didn't, but to anyone who thought of and prayed for us. 

That being said, life ticks on. It's been a struggle, still. And I don't think it ever really stops being one. I still had days when I would cry from mourning the loss of the baby we lost before Lizzie was born. So I know that the pain never really goes away -- but that's okay, I suppose. Like I said last time -- it hurts because it mattered. Although those two babies won't be with us here on Earth, they are still our sons, daughters, brothers, sisters. We are still a family of five -- just not to the naked eye.

Over the weekend, though, I got in some really good days that were very "healing" for me (cheesy!). We got to spend time outside in the sunshine, got to laugh, got to spend lots of solid, good, uninterrupted time with Lizzie -- and I needed that. On Saturday afternoon, we spent a lot of time pushing Lizzie in a swing for the first time. She loved it, and my heart needed it. I went to bed that night feeling more whole than I have since we learned we were losing our baby. I am so thankful for my sweet girl that I can't even fathom it.

As much as I hate to say it, each day does get easier. The pain lessens a little more, I look forward to the future and what might come next, and I remind myself to stay in the present and enjoy Lizzie just as she is, just her, for now -- because this time with just one baby, just my one miracle baby, won't last forever. We will have more kids... and this precious time with just her will just be a memory.

Milestones: As mentioned previously, Lizzie is saying "raaar" -- is that a first word? I don't think so -- more of a first sound that has some meaning I think :)

Most exciting of all: Lizzie is now crawling on her hands and knees! No more army crawls for this girl! Well, maybe she hasn't given up the army crawling completely, but it's certainly lessened :)

Girlfriend's first Easter over the weekend as well... can't believe she's almost one year old!

Forty Seven Weeks!

Weight: I'm guessing between 17 and 18 pounds.

Sleep: Sleep is improving this week -- we're now getting our full nights again :) Yahoo!

Medical Issues: Feeling good :) Although I think she's got a cold coming on and might be teething a bit. We've got some odd diapers and, at times, a refusal to eat for no apparent reason… and I think there's a little bump on the top left side of her gums. We still have ZERO teeth, so it wouldn't surprise me.

Clothes: We're in three to six month clothes and three to six month jammies! 

Socialite!: Hanging out with daycare friends!

Diet: Loves everything, especially sweet potatoes, pineapple and kiwi. It seems that the more flavor something has, the more she loves it. I made turkey burgers last night with onions and green onions mixed in, and she DEVOURED it. Love to see my baby girl being such a good eater! So proud! Sometimes I think she'd just keep eating if I didn't limit her, though :) I guess my cooking is just that delicious ;)

It seems she thinks the food off my plate would taste better than that on her tray, even though they tend to be the exact same thing, so I do tend to find myself sharing part of my meal with her some nights ;)

Baby Gear Love: Books, books books! She loves them. She'll go pick some out and choose favorites of those to read over and over and over again. It's adorable. She's starting to really react to the books, too -- she'll laugh and squeal at certain parts/pictures of the books :) And over the weekend, she couldn't get enough of some little stuffed octopus with big, pretty eyes that my niece and nephews have. She didn't really play with it necessarily, but she just had to hold onto it.

Crying: Lizzie is such a happy babe. She only cries when she's hungry or tired.

Mommy News: (Note: I don't mention any of this for pity or attention. As always, these posts are written for me and for Lizzie, to remember these days. If you don't like it, skip it.)

It's been a very difficult few days for this momma. The day after I turned 27, we learned I was expecting a new baby brother or sister for Lizzie! We were over-the-moon excited! And I honestly believed with my whole heart that everything would be perfect and before Christmastime, we'd be a family of FOUR! I had no reason to think otherwise -- I've miscarried once before Lizzie, but had RPL testing done and everything came back perfectly, so I had no reason to suspect things wouldn't go as well as they did for my pregnancy with Lizzie. Unfortunately, we learned over the weekend that this sweet baby that we already came to love so much, would not join us here on Earth in our family.

So we mourn. And we grieve. And it's been hard. Like, really hard. And I find myself wondering, "how did I get through it the first time?" because I'm completely devastated and broken.

Lizzie is such a ray of sunshine and such a little miracle for us and I am so grateful to have her -- I don't know how I'd be getting up each day if it weren't for her right now. On Saturday after we found out, I was lying on our bed, crying, and Andy brought Lizzie in. She smiled, laid down next to me, then sat up and gave me a kiss. It was the sweetest thing ever. 

She would have been such a wonderful big sister to that baby. But she still will be. Just not before Christmastime.

I know how blessed we are, truly, to have Lizzie. Still, this loss just aches -- and I wish it would stop. But, as I remember from last time, it doesn't. And it won't. And that's just how pregnancy loss goes, sadly. I saw a quote recently that said something like, "It hurts because it mattered." I think that made me feel better, helped me to recognize why I hurt so much from it. Because it mattered. Because my baby, Lizzie's sibling, mattered.

Milestones: We are chatting up a storm! It's like she's learned a hundred new sounds this week. We're hearing a lot of the "n" sound lately, which is new, and she's become extremely fond of the "d" sound.

We've also become more and more talented at standing unassisted -- not that she's doing it all that often, but when we can slip one of our hands away from her, she can sometimes stand for five or ten seconds if she doesn't realize it.